IC Inbox

[meanandgreen]

OOC: If you're looking to contact Raph through this thing, chances of reaching him are slim. He'll only check it during special circumstances. You're more likely to reach him by contacting one of his brothers. Or cousins. Whatever. But feel free to try anyways.



Location: WA-3B

Video | Text | Audio

[[Can't be bothered with a recorded message. All you get is silence before the tone.]]

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[Action: March 6th]

[meanandgreen]

There's a ritual they all go through before heading for a fight. They tend to their weapons, go through the motions of light katas. Meditate. Psyche themselves up into that adrenaline-fueled focus that makes the blood flow and the bones ache for action. For the feel of the night air and pavement under their feet. For the feel of flesh pounding against flesh and the smell of blood.

All day today, Raph can see his brother going through these rituals. In the morning he cleans his swords with extra care, re-wraps their worn bindings and moves through smooth kata after kata well into the afternoon. During dinner, he eats lighter than usual, and has that quiet focus in his eyes that's way too intense to just be nothing.

Raphael has never been one for subtlety, but he knows his brothers like he knows his own skin. Their rhythm, their habits, the way the air shifts around them.

Tonight that's changed, and he can already smell the blood.

After dinner, Raph follows in his brother's shadow, leans against the doorway, trying not to look too excited. Trying not to give away how much his muscles ache for action. If there's promise of a fight in the air, he wants in. He won't let Leo go without him.

"You goin' somewhere, Leo?" He says nonchalantly, crossing his arms and trying to look relaxed. Play it cool. Last thing he wants to do is look too eager and have Leo tell him no.

Not that it'd stop him. Having Leo actually agree would just make it easier.

[Action: March 6th]

[duelkatana]

Last night, right on schedule, Leonardo had slipped into the dark, empty suite that he and Raphael shared all those months ago. He'd checked for signs of disturbance in the settled dust, reset any traps that looked sketchy, and then settled himself in front of the console to check for the messages that he's recently grown accustomed to receiving.

The screen had flickered to life and displayed one recording from Monet, just as expected. What he hadn't expected was what the recording contained: a mission. A tip Monet had received through her feelers that she wanted to follow up on... and an invitation to Leo to join her.

He didn't sleep much last night, but come morning, he's still as focused as he's ever been. He goes through the motions to ease his nerves - cleans his katana, meditates, keeps his meals light and his interactions with his housemates lighter. They don't know about Monet, and he plans to keep it that way. Especially with Raph.

This is one of the first gestures of trust Monet has willingly shown him, and he's not going to blow it.

Shortly after dinner ends, he slips into his room, gathers his gear, and pulls his katana over his shell. As he turns to leave, adjusting the strap over his plastron, he freezes in place at the sight of his brother leaning in the doorway.

Crap.

He should've known Raph would pick up on his behavior. Stupid, stupid. A bolt of panic sears through him like wildfire, but he quashes it, the strap in his hand crumpling as he channels the tension there instead.

"Just... for a run." He's a bad, bad liar, and he knows it. But Raph tagging along is just about the worst imaginable scenario he can think of right now.

[Action: March 6th]

[meanandgreen]

"Yeah?" He drawls with a tilt of the head. This's a game as old as his memory - when one brother finds something good, really good and worth protecting, they have to pretend they don't have anything. They have to keep it and covet it and hide it in a secret place.

Tonight, Leo has something good. Good enough to lie about it, and he always was such a crappy liar.

"Guess you wouldn't mind if I tag along, then," he says, pushing off the doorway with a flash of teeth that isn't quite a smile. Something fiercer. He wants in, he wants a fight, and if it's good enough to lie over, it has to be really good.

[duelkatana]

Leo knows when he's fighting a losing battle; the moment his brother gives that flashing grin, gets that hard glint in his eye, he knows there's no chance in hell Raph is going to let this go. He's as busted as is humanly possible.

Great. Leo also knows his brother, and he knows that the second he lays eyes on Monet, his hackles are going to go up. What she and Leo have been building up to this point has been slow, fragile, and tonight is a milestone. He can't endanger that. Leo loves his brother, but he can be a real pain in the shell when it comes to playing nice with others.

He grits his teeth. "I don't think that's a good idea, Raph."

The words are forced and annoyed; he's not even pretending to bother with his lie anymore. If Raph is going to butt in no matter what he does, at the very least, he's going to make his displeasure clear.

[meanandgreen]

The gruff excitement that played across his face falls in an instant. Leo's annoyed he's trying to tag along, and it's hard not to be at least a little disappointed. But disappointment quickly turns to a hard knot of anger in the pit of his stomach. "Why?" he growls, almost mocking. "It ain't like you're doin' something important."

He's onto you, bro. He has been since this morning. The jig is up, and you better not be planning something stupid.

[Action: April 27th]

[i_speak_softly]

Don finds it a little hard to enjoy his dinner. The food is good and the company better, but after spending the afternoon treating fungal illnesses and starting spore cultures in petri dishes, he just doesn't have much of an appetite.

He pushes his food around the plate for a while, then gives up and addresses his third - and hopefully final - patient.

"Raph, when you're done... my lab, please."

[meanandgreen]

After over a week of fever and nausea, Raph's appetite isn't exactly stellar, either. But he tries, mostly in an attempt to look more fine than he feels. His head is pounding even worse than this morning, and he just feels drained. Even sitting at the table is exhausting. All he wants right now is to finish up quick so he can get back to bed.

Too bad Don's not gonna let that happen.

"Since when do you got a lab?" He rasps. Don's barely been here a handful of hours and he's already managed to set up shop. Leave it to Donnie.

[i_speak_softly]

Well, since he sterilized the bathroom, commandeered the medical kit, and raided the apartment for anything that could serve as a scientific apparatus.

"They just show up wherever I am," he says tiredly.

[meanandgreen]

Raph only snorts quietly in response, picking at his food and mostly ignoring the conversation until he manages to clear his plate. Mechanically, he brings his dish to the sink, waiting for Don to tell him where to go.

If Don needed a warning sign to clue off just how bad the last few days have been, the fact that Raph doesn't fight any of this should be all the evidence he needs.

[i_speak_softly]

Don is definitely reading those signs. Normally he would give any of his brothers a piece of his mind for running all over the city while seriously ill, but Raph is obviously suffering enough without Don's trademark brand of passive-aggressive punishment.

He clears his own plate, the meal only half-eaten, and then turns to lead Raph to what passes for his lab. "This way."

[Video: June 1]

[i_speak_softly]

[After this.]

After this morning's unwelcome announcement, Don had spent most of the day back-burnering his own frustrations in order to listen to Raph's. He now possesses a deep understanding of everything Raphael hates about this new state of affairs, as well as some information concerning sundry other opinions held by his most volatile brother.

Not that he really minded being on the receiving end of all that. Rather, he's very concerned about the well-being of the entire family, as they adjust to this strange disjointed living arrangement. It doesn't occur to him to do anything other than check in on everyone's needs, and get to work solving those problems as quickly as possible.

So when Don finally gets to retire to his new room, he immediately fires up the console and opens a line to Raph's machine. It's the closest they can get to being together tonight, and he'll sit on the connection as long as he has to, until he's sure they're all okay with being on their own for a little while.

[Video]

[meanandgreen]

It's been a really freaking terrible day. Maybe it's far from the worst he's ever experienced, but in the here and now, it feels like that Evandau guy has physically ripped his family in two. Because in a way, he has, temporary as it may be. And it's not right. His brothers are all he's got and it just ain't right.

When he'd finally made it to his room, he'd thrown his bedroll against the wall. It didn't make him feel any better. Pacing the room like a caged animal didn't either. Punching the wall helped, but only for a second, like he could pour all his anger into the thing, feel it lift away from him until it all came rushing back like a tidal wave.

With Mike still downstairs talking to that girl, (Nita, she said her name is.) and he's done all the damage he could possibly do, he plops down in his chair in front of his console, rubbing roughly at his face with a bloody-knuckled hand. He'd meant to call Leo. He doesn't even realize Don is already there waiting on the other line.

[i_speak_softly]

Don is half-turned away from the monitor, scribbling away at something on his desk. It only takes him a few breaths to notice the virtual presence of his brother, though. There's that strange moment where he's half-in and half-out of his mental trance, bookmarking his train of thought, and then he looks up.

"Hey." His eyes flick up and down, scanning the image of his brother. "You're bleeding."

[meanandgreen]

The sudden sound of Don's voice makes him jump, his hand slamming down on the desk, pushing himself halfway out of his chair.

"Jeez, Donnie. Don't do that!" He yells, examining his knuckles as he settles back down again. Screw his hand. Screw this whole day. He is way too on edge right now, but he has to be. Far as he's concerned, this's enemy territory. But seeing his brother's concern on the screen lets him relax just a fraction of an inch, sighing heavily. "I was just about to call Leo."

[i_speak_softly]

There's probably nothing that wouldn't make Raph angry right now, so Don ignores this outburst.

"He's skulking around. Do you want me to find him?"

video; july 9

[duelkatana]

He'd expected something like this to happen.

It wasn't hard to see coming. Donatello is brilliant, but he's brilliant because he thinks so much - more than Leo had ever realized, now that some of the runoff is constantly being projected into his own mind. Thoughts are fleeting, shadowed things, hitting harder and fading faster than any ninja would be capable of; if left uncontrolled, they can dominate the mind.

Leonardo had found issues with someone else's thoughts dominating his mind. And although he'd warned Donatello to be careful with Raphael, the report he'd received upon his brother's return had been exactly what he'd expected: his discomfort paled in comparison to that of someone who had enough troubles with their own thoughts.

So he was prepared for this. He finds a few moments to himself on the console; pulls the chair closer, steeples his hands. And wires a call through to Raphael.

[meanandgreen]

Usually Raph is the one who initiates these things. It's just how they work. Leo and Don know how much he needs his space, and most of the time they respect that. So every night, when that space between them grows too big, he calls, and they talk, trying to close the gap in whatever way they can.

Last night was the first time he let that gap grow instead of shrink. He'd gone to bed early, and he'd gone to bed mad. Mad at Don, mad at himself, mad at everything. He had zero desire to talk to anyone or even think.

So instead, he turned his brain off, and slept through the night.

In the morning, he's in an obvious funk. Mike tries his best to coax him out of it with food and jokes, but he doesn't break. He beats the hell out of his training dummy instead.

Worked to exhaustion, he stands in the shower until he's bled the hot water dry. It doesn't make him feel any better.

Trekking back to his room, he throws his wet towel on his desk chair, and goes to grab his weapons. Cleaning them always puts him in a better mood. But then the blinking light on the console catches his eye, and he knows instantly that he's in trouble.

Mashing the button to video, he glowers into the screen, both hands braced on the desk.

"What?"

[duelkatana]

Leo had hardly been expecting a warm welcome; Raph's tone doesn't faze him. His eyes narrow through the console, flicking up and down his brother's wrung-out expression and filing it away.

He unlinks his hands, sets one flat on the desk, uses the other to make a vague motion towards Raphael's end of the feed.

"Sit."

He's not angry, so there's no reflection of that in the command - it's a little tired, maybe. Dealing with a guilt-stricken brother who quite literally cannot contain his thoughts didn't leave him much time to collect his own. If he thought he could push this off without giving Raph the chance to bury it beyond discussion, he would.

[meanandgreen]

He hesitates for a minute, looking away from the camera and working his jaw. The muscles flex across his face, bulge in his neck and shoulders. When he's really anxious, Raph has a habit of grinding his teeth, and this moment isn't any different.

Though this isn't the battle that's worth fighting. He knows this. So he plops down in his chair, arms crossed, still not looking at the camera.

[duelkatana]

Leo's steely expression softens just a bit.

"You all right?"

It's not how he had planned to start this conversation, but here we are.

[Video: early August]

[i_speak_softly]

[A few days after this.]

[When Don comes on the console, he looks... sober. Sad. His shoulder is neatly bandaged, and there's little other sign of their fight. Knowing this is not a live conversation, he takes his time working through what he wants to say.]

Raph... I don't know whether you're speaking to me or not. Mike told me you got home safely, at least...

I think I remember our whole conversation now, and I still don't know what I did to make you so upset. Did I misunderstand something that you said? I don't ignore you, Raph, I just get distracted...

I'm sorry. That's my fault. Whatever I did, I feel awful and I want to make it right. Please tell me how to fix this...

[He trails off, but it's obvious he'll be hanging around the console, hoping for a reply.]

[meanandgreen]

[It takes him a while to respond. Partly because he's been out, doing other things because staying idle when he's this upset drives him out of his mind. Partly because he's not speaking to Don, and just doesn't want to answer.

Half a day goes by with no response. By the time he finally gathers enough will to answer, Don's probably not even there anymore. So he leaves another message in turn.

On the screen, Raph bears some of his own souvenirs from their little misunderstanding. He has a dark bruise under the corner of one eye, and his beak is a little puffier than normal, but it does nothing to soften the hard, angry look on his face.]

You told me you were gonna ditch me for some other project. You told me to go build the bike myself, even though you know I can't make those parts. You told me you were tired of me orderin' you around and that you weren't gonna build the bike I wanted anyway.

So yeah, I'm not talkin' to you. You're an asshole. We were supposed to do this together, but it's like you don't even care. And then you keep turnin' it around on me like it's my fault for gettin' upset.

You ditched me. You pissed me off. You ain't gonna fix this by bein' all high 'n mighty, so just leave me alone.

[i_speak_softly]

[When Don gets this message, it hurts. Not that hearing such things from Raph is new. He filters the sharp words for the information he needs.]

[... Raph can't make engine parts?]

[He considers his reply for a while, then sends a careful message.]

I could have sworn you had fabricated engine parts before. I'm fairly certain I thought so even before the head injury. Did I completely imagine that?

[He looks down, at the schematics on his desk, not visible to the camera.]

You love fixing your own bike... I thought you wanted me to butt out as soon as you had the materials you needed.

[meanandgreen]

[It takes Raph much less time to respond to this one, even though he has to replay it a few times just to make sure Don isn't speaking some kind of moon language.]

What are you even talkin' about? You ever actually seen me make engine parts? No! I TOLD you I couldn't when we were fighting, and you didn't even care!

So quit actin' innocent. You didn't say anything like that to me. You just told me to build my own bike and quit orderin' you around!

[i_speak_softly]

[Don stares at the console, then through it, then falls forward to knock his head against the desk.]

What is wrong with me...